Do you know how that feels?

  • When you stay away from people not because you hate them, but because you prefer to enjoy solitude. You want to stay away not really from them, but from all the resentment they harbor and the pain they inflict.
  • When people you know became people you knew.
  • When all those moments you thought you really know certain people but they suddenly do things that even you, cannot comprehend.
  • When you don’t really expect, yet you get disappointed.
  • When all these years you treat yourself as your best friend and then someone came along, making you feel like they can change that. You hope that that person can make a difference but then they walked away, leaving you hanging on dead air.
  • When you trust someone so much that when they left, a part of you went missing.
  • When you’re mad at someone but you can’t just hate them.
  • When paranoia gets the better of you and you always think that when others talk, it’s about you.
  • When they’re all likely past the moving on stage while you’re still there, enjoying that tormenting phase.
  • When old conversations made you feel all giddy just by thinking about them, then realizing they don’t anymore.
  • When a person doesn’t mean to you the way they first did but looks like you love them even more. (I don’t get it either.)
  • How you love school but not the people there.
  • How photos can be so annoying.

Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive. ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore


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