Someone once asked me, “Jane, why are you always like that?”. “Like what?”, I said. “Always ecstatic.” I just offered her a smile. That was the moment I became fully aware of how I look through other people’s eyes. From the exterior they see me as a jolly person. I badly wanted to tell her how I think — that people are only scratching from the surface. If only people would know what has mold someone to become who she is now.
I wanted to tell her that I’ve already developed this fuck it attitude towards everything. Gradually I’m getting better at it. As much as possible I separate myself from all the things that might inflict pain. I’m afraid to over-think things because at the end of the day, I realize that I’m just wasting my energy.
I always try my hardest not to care, but no matter how easy that might sound, I’m not that type who can’t just ignore what’s happening around me. As the overly cliche phrase says, “Life is too short.“. It kinda bugs me that I can’t do whatever I want. I’ve got tons in my bucket list and knowing that I won’t be able to accomplish everything that’s written there, I still somehow can take advantage of my time to do things that will make me happy at the end of the day. By that I mean choosing to stay carefree despite everything that’s going on, whether it’s good, bad, or anything in between in this pretty messed-up life of mine.
It’s never easy telling someone to be contented if you haven’t felt being in that person’s skin. You’ll never make them feel better unless you get to know them in a much deeper way and discover what tickles their fancy,
Next time I’ll be asked by someone, I’ll offer her with a smile while saying “Because I choose to.“
Bye, stranger! Until next time. DFTBA!! 🙂
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln