God has His ways.

It feels weird and great that after more than a month, I’m sitting here in front of my laptop making an entry.  The past few months weren’t so easy for me and my family. So much had happened in that short span of time making me still left in my adjustment phase. One of that is about my mom. July was the hardest month for us, especially for me and my sister. The hospital seemed to be our second home during those days. We stayed there when we’re not in school. It’s not like we were asked but it’s more of a daughter’s concern and love for her mom. (something like that). Besides, going home never felt right while someone you dearly care for isn’t okay. Home didn’t feel like home. Everything is aware of what was happening and acting like everything’s okay was not a very good option then. Oh I don’t want to go back to that dark chapter of my life. I thought I was losing my Mom, and that’s just unthinkable. Thank God we’re through with that stage.

Of course when we were going through that tough time, I couldn’t help not to feel distracted by that. School was not so friendly either. We had to move back to Pasay, where we used to live before considering staying in Muntinlupa. Everything just got harder. It was never easy to commute from Pasay all the way to Muntinlupa at 5.30 in the morning every single day. It’s not like I have other choices, though.

Despite all of that, I still feel blessed. I never thought that God doesn’t care about me. Instead, I accepted everything as a test and thought that He only wants us to realize things that we often neglect to think about. Maybe He saw that we need to be bonded even more. I just don’t know if that’s really the case. Those adversities made me stronger and braver.

Yes. We were in deep worry and nothing seemed to be going right that time, but He let me see that there’s still so much to smile about; that even though I’m having a rough month, I can still be happy; that despite everything, I can still smile. Blessings continue to pour. I mean it. Pour.

My Mom continues to be in good health; we’re almost in the end of our adjusting season; I was chosen as one of the nominees for AYLC; I got the highest and indeed very high grade in our Cost exam; I was included in the seven people who passed the first half of our Accounting subject; high grades even in my minor. Do you know how that feels, reader? When you had already conditioned yourself that you’re going to fail the exam, even worse, the subject, then you ended having the highest score and even better, passing the subject! It was more like a miracle on my part, okay? I was close to crying because of joy. I’m grateful.

I know that I will be bombarded by more trials in the future, but who cares? God is with me.

Behind every trial and sorrow that He makes us shoulder, God has a reason. — Khaled Hosseini (A Thousand Splendid Suns)

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One thought on “God has His ways.

  1. Oh my goodness, Jane. I’ve been really sucky with keeping up with blogging and reading other blogs, I had no idea this was all going on, even when I commented you on Facebook, just to say hi! I love that even though we are oceans apart, we still have so many media outlets to “keep in touch” – I’m not sure if that is the appropriate phrase, since we’ve never met. But I guess it works for now. I hope everything has gotten better and that your mom is in good health now! Congratulations on doing so great at school. You’re amazing! Don’t forget that miss. Hang in there, and keep on doing what you’re doing!! I miss reading your blog, but I completely understand being busy with school and whatnot. Hope to read more soon 🙂

    xo Jackie

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