I Know Who I Am

Day 24, May 24th, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits.

  • I can be very temperamental – I hate my mood swings. One moment you’ll find me looking all nice and happy, the next you’ll see me with my poker face or annoyed expression on. Oftentimes it’s because I believe in some circumstances, people can be really unreasonable. Even worse, I can’t understand the things they insist!! I’m trying my best to reassess everything, but they don’t listen. Oh please. Don’t mess with me.

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  • My babbling capabilities are infinite – Moments when I’m extremely and incredibly irritated or unhappy, I won’t stop talking until I got tired. The one who usually suffers is the person I’m with. I can be frank, too to the point that I sometimes hurt people with my words, and I really am grateful to those who can put up with my shitty side. You guys know who you are.

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  • My stubbornness usually gets in the way – I often like things to be in my way even if others clearly explain things to me, but it only comes to my personal life. Like people who I want to be with, bridging gaps, those things when pride gets the better of me. Ambiguous, eh?

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So there you go. I know a lot of people hate me for this. Don’t worry. The feeling is mutual. I hated, and still continue to hate myself for these traits innumerable times now. I’m doing my best to be a better person, though.

DFTBA, reader!

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. — André Gide (Autumn Leaves)

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Awkward is the new sexy.

Day 3, May 3rd, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable.

I got inspired by Jackie’s use of gifs last night! Hahaha so let’s see what I’ve found.

  • Being in the same public vehicle with someone you haven’t seen in a while and then they try to start a conversation.

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  • Speaking with someone I’m not currently in good terms with.Image
  • Reviewing using the computer or any other device like tablets or e-readers. They hurt my eyes and being the librocubicularist human being that I am (I just love the word, okay?), I love reading my own handwriting while in bed.

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  • PDA. Enough said.

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  • When someone I’m not close with suddenly talks to me and asks how everything is going.Image
  • When people ask questions that are too personal.

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  • When my crush talks to me hehehehe (more like twitterpated; not uncomfy)

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  • When I meet people for the first time.

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  • When I’m eating and someone starts talking about poop and other disgusting things.

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  • When the teacher calls my name and I’m not prepared then everyone’s staring at me like I murdered someone.

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  • When my older sister lectures me in public places about things I don’t really do (e.g. having a boyfriend)

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  • When someone secretly stares at your phone while you’re reading a message. ugh this isn’t a group message!!

12These are just a few things. I’ve got a lot but I guess these are enough. Hahaha! 🙂

Sometimes, you can not click with somebody, and it can feel awkward. — Jeff Bridges

On pushing people away.

Day 2, May 2nd, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you’d like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

I’ve been thinking about what to write for today since when I got to school this morning. Now it’s already 8 PM here and I haven’t thought of anything serious. Then I remember I can write in a sarcastic way. My professor once told us that someone’s writing reflects how that person feels at that moment. I’ve got bitter blood running in my veins at the moment. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. So… let’s see? What am I good at? Aside from singing (oopsy), Algebra and reading so fast I can be a news anchor, I’m great at pushing people away. When I first thought of this, I asked myself hey maybe you wanna write about something instead ’cause that sounds like a disorder? No. These days I’m not feeling okay and it occurred to me how I can be so effective in disassociating myself to some people who caused me so much pain and disappointment.

Distancing yourself from people doesn’t mean you’re being an anti-social weirdo kid with a twisted criminal mind. You want to be educated? Here’s how. Freaking based on everyday experience for the past month.

  • When they don’t seem to mind that all they give is shit, shit, and shit, oh you gotta avoid talking to them at the moment.
  • Stay away from places they go to.
  • Earphones are a big help. Just in case you’ve got insensitive pricks who won’t shut up. (I don’t say you use earphones while talking to them. I’m saying when you’re in the same room as them and you’re doing something and being the heartless human beings that they are, they won’t shut up even though everyone else is doing something important)
  • Just avoid making eye contacts with them. It’s annoying. Sometimes even just seeing them from your peripheral vision makes your stomach churn. 
  • Block some people from social networking sites. If they manage to piss you off outside, I’m hella sure it’s as easy as pie for them to do the same online. (And this stuff, guess if this only comes as greatly needed. when you can no longer tolerate your dislike towards other people)

I can’t believe I’m writing this!! Anyway, I’m not saying you should entirely avoid human existence. What I’m saying is that stay away from people who thinks you’re shit. People who can’t see your worth. Instead, be with those people who knows your little insecurities and still know how to accept you for who you are. Those people who know how to listen and would be happy for your accomplishments, not like those people who secretly feel envious when you achieve something and even worse hopes for something unfortunate to happen. I no longer make sense. Sorry May challenge, but I’ll make it up to you next time. DFTBA!

Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away. ― Donna Schoenrock

Not So Plain Jane

I learned about this 30-day blogging challenge because of a friend when she posted about it on twitter. I thought about it and asked myself if I should give it a try. Since it’s summer and I’m not as busy as I usually am during regular semesters, here I am. 🙂

Day 1, May 1st, Thursday: The story of your life in 250 words or less.

with my younger sister and btw, that’s my favorite dress as a child

Hi! I’m Jane and I’m pretty much awkward in real life. I was born on October 13th, 1994 in this Asian country where it can make you feel like the sun hates you for being alive, the Philippines.

Like most of the families here, I grew up in a very tight-knit family. I value education more than a lot of things. Ever since I was a child, I’ve had this liking of school, of learning. I may not be the brightest student out there but I swear I’m quite good in school

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a very honest person. I always feel guilty about the littlest things. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain that’s why growing up, I put in mind that I should always be one of the bests, particularly in academics.

I love making the people I love proud of me. I’d basically do everything to make them feel that despite everything painful life has to offer, I’m still one of those things that can somehow make everything bearable.

I always feel so blessed by Him.

I’m proud to say that I’m a book geek. John Green, Harper Lee, Jerry Spinelli and Gary D. Schmidt are some of my favourite authors.

Laughing means so much to me. I’m currently traveling the road leading to my greatest dream, and that’s to be a future CPA.

Until next time, DFTBA!